What is Marriage?

When we were married someone gave us a throw that said, “Marriage: the Beautiful Blending of Two Lives”. After 20 years of seeing this quote every day, I have to agree there is truth in it, but in my words it would probably say, “the blending of two incomplete lives into one whole”. Whether or not that blending becomes something beautiful depends entirely on the effort and care of the artists at work. I don’t know for sure what the dictionary says marriage is, but marriage is certainly something a little different for each couple. One of the things we probably all have in common, though, is the potential to complete and complement each other.

Where one is weak, the other is strong

Each half of a married couple has different strengths, talents, skills, and weaknesses. Often in the areas where one of us is most weak, the other is strong. I might be on time for everything while my husband is late, yet he may be more sensitive to needs of people around him while I’m more task-oriented. And when we come together to create a family, there is that possibility of our family having the very best of attributes.

No one can care for another like a spouse can

As a husband and wife commit to love and care for each other, there is a potential for the kind of tender, sensitive care that no other relationship could ever benefit from. We know each other intimately and we spend our lives together pursuing one purpose. We know the struggles and needs and fears and frailties of the other and are the best fit in the world to minister to that one person.

We often know each other better than we know ourselves

It’s been funny to discover that often, after all these years, my husband sometimes knows me better than I know myself. When we recently played a “Newlywed” game at a Valentine’s party, we didn’t do very well. It wasn’t because my husband didn’t know my favorite book or dessert or song, it was because I didn’t; but when I heard his answers I thought, “Oh, that’s right!” I often seem to know things about him that he doesn’t recognize as well, like his potential and talents and abilities that he doesn’t dare to believe in.

We have complementary God-given roles

Perhaps the most important way we complement each other is in our God-given family roles. I, as wife and mother, have certain responsibilities, and it just so happens that by nature they are the ones I am more fit for. Likewise, my husband’s role fits just what he’s good at and enjoys. In the document “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”, modern prophets state what has long been assumed: that husbands and wives have divine and separate roles and yet are to help each other as equal partners. “Fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” As I have put my best efforts into fulfilling my role, it’s a comfort to know that he is taking care of his.

A beautiful marriage takes effort and care and dedication. It takes each spouse fulfilling their roles, supporting the other, building each other rather than tearing down, and being patient and kind. But the blending of two incomplete lives into one can truly be beautiful.